I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
