capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
