I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
