my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
