what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
