CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
