Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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