See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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