so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
