It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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