he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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