just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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