How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
