Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
