textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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