maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
