Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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