just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
