Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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