Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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