There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
