So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
