i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How external is "for external use only"?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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