fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
love makes seman taste better
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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