his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm passing your future prison.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
