We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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