you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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