So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
