Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So many bounce houses so little time
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
