She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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