And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
