But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
