STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
