I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
