if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
