no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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