Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
