she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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