Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
