Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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