billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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