Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
