More tranny stories later!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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