Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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