I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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