rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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