So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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