Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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