I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
