wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
