Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
